I was recently with a group of people discussing letting things and people go. I guess it is that time of year to think of these endings, and it prompted many thoughts.

I am the type of gal who likes to hang on to people and things. It seems a bit radical to let someone or something go. I don’t even like cleaning out my guest closet. Most of us want to be liked, wanted, and close to people. We are made for relationships, so saying good bye can be very difficult. Things can represent memories and feelings, so we get attached.

So, we need to consider when saying “so long” can be the very best thing to do.

“So, what people should I show the door?” you may wonder. It is not as difficult to make a list as you might think. Start with anybody who wants to leave. We know we can’t make another call us, be with us, or love us. We can open our hand, as they need to be free to go. Next up, anybody who is damaging you or just using you would be a healthy farewell. Anybody you are just using, not truly supporting. Be very honest. Caring must be a mutual effort to work. Sometimes, you don’t need to say goodbye to the person altogether, just one aspect of your relationship that doesn’t work.

Things are easier. Start with objects that are a burden—even if they belonged to grandma. If you are only keeping as a memory and not actively using it or enjoying it, it’s clutter. Set it free, so someone else can use it. Except for your tax forms, anything you feel a duty to keep can go. Things are just things, not the memories themselves.

We can lose the object and keep the memory.

While you are at it, make a list of other things you can do without.

• A complaining and blaming attitude
• A job that no longer works for you
• Your own addiction
• A judgmental attitude
• Fear itself
• Disorganization

All of a sudden, you have a really big list of things to show the door.

I am not saying it is easy. You need to think the goodbye through first, and it can be wrenching. It helps to have faith that the people and things we need in our lives will be with us if they are meant to be. When you say goodbye to what you don’t need, you clear the path for what you do need. You free others to serve a better purpose than cluttering your life. As you let go of what you don’t need, you will discover, little-by-little the gift of goodbye.

Coaching Question: What or who do you need to let go of and say goodbye.

Coaching Tip: Take action to let it go and be rewarded with new experiences and adventures.

Quotes: “He will hew the line of right, let the chips fall where they may.” --Roscoe Conklin

Sharon Pahlka is a life coach and speaker. In her coaching, she helps her clients live well and meaningfully, especially those with chronic health challenges. Sharon’s column, “Coach’s Corner,” offers helpful tips from her work. Contact Sharon Pahlka via her website, www.lifeisagift.com.